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¡¡¡¡Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

¡¡¡¡Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said " Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that".

¡¡¡¡Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned."

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¡¡¡¡The soldier was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

¡¡¡¡He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "Regret cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

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¡¡¡¡My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won’t start, but I know what the problem is."

¡¡¡¡I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor(»¯ÓÍÆ÷). I thought for a moment, then said, "You know, I don’t mean this offensively, but you don’t know the carburetor from the accelerator."

¡¡¡¡"No, there’s definitely water in the carburetor," she insisted.

¡¡¡¡"OK Honey, that’s fine, I’ll just go take a look. Where is it?"

¡¡¡¡"In the lake."

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